Gifts are big part of the Holiday Season. We all search for the perfect gift to give to our loved ones. What can be more loving, more special than a gift of yourself? Even, literally, if you covered yourself with ribbons, bows, and sparkles, and offered your heart as a gift of love.

There are many views on the act of submission being a gift to the Dominant. The old school ways were that submissives and Dominants each had a place. There was no such thing as topping from the bottom or assuming you’re a princess. As times change relationships become more flexible. Today’s world of BDSM culture allows for negotiation, in response to the care and love that we feel for each other, we work to please our partners, be it from the Top or the bottom. We can choose to look at both sides as a gift, but in the end... the most important and sought after gift in any relationship, is love.

The following gives two slightly differing views on submission as a gift. As you read them, think of how learning to be a gift to your partner every day, can strengthen your love, and be the best gift you can give to each other.

 

hen I first started exploring submission I heard and read numerous times that submission is a gift to the Dominant that accepts it. For a long time I subscribed to this way of thinking and there is nothing wrong with thinking about your submission this way. I’m not here to tell you that you are wrong. I am hoping that I can give you a different perspective about your submission that you may not have thought about.

Back to when I was first exploring my newfound submission the magic that I felt when I submitted to someone made me believe that what I was doing was beyond the realm of normalcy. Because I felt this way when I gave over the control to someone, even for a short time, my submission was sparkly, shiny and new. I packaged it up for the man of my dreams and pledged that I would gift it to them. My submission was ready for giving.

When it came time to give my submission to my Dominant partner there was a catch. It didn’t act like a gift at all. A gift is something you give without anything expected in return. You don’t give birthday gifts and expect the person to give you something back, do you? Now, with my submission all wrapped up and waiting for him to unwrap it I had to think about why it was a gift to begin with.

In essence, it really isn’t. The only reason I thought it was a gift was because of my inexperience with the whole thing. And well, I thought that once I gave my submission to the Dominant of my dreams, then he’d give me all of my fantasies and I’d live full of happiness and service. But wait, he’d have to give me something to keep the dreams going wouldn’t he?

Was Dominance going to be his gift to me? This was never talked about when I was first started exploring, submission was the only gift discussed. Oh, and something about the Dominant who receives this gift is someone special and it’s a precious thing to do.

 
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